Bald Headed Woman

My appointment with Woodfield Road, W9 is already looking like a grotesque parody. A messy letter with a confusing array of typefaces has arrived. “Following a referral from your GP we would like to offer you an appointment to be seen at the Assessment and Brief Treatment Team.” The brief of the Brief Treatment Team is to provide snap answers.

My last experience of the Assessment and Brief Treatment Team, was a 13 minute home visit by rude social worker (Mr Leon G), who recorded in my medical notes that he performed an assessment, however, this “assessment” was later disputed by Joy, the lady who accompanied rude social worker before, during and after the encounter, due to his failure to complete any paperwork in her presence and Joy contested, therefore no assessment had been performed. This, in addition to the failure by rude social worker to introduce himself, by saying: who he was, what he was and why he was seeing me.

On the issue of paperwork, “We enclose a Crisis Card with our emergency duty number, as well as a Patient Details form, please complete as much of this form as possible and bring it with you.” Er, no Crisis Card and, er, no Patient Details form were enclosed. I say, What a Shower!

A pair of ABT Workers will see me on Thursday 22nd May. My expectations are so low that it would be hard to disappoint me, which is not to say, their behaviour will not irritate. During the cross-examination I expect the Workers to be impertinent, I expect irrelevant questions, I expect as I respond to questions about myself to be interrupted, I expect the staff not to understand my answers, I expect to face a level of ignorance due to a lack of general knowledge (Note to self – do not refer to Unity Mitford or any of the Mitford sisters or even Terry Thomas), I expect to face a level of ignorance due to a lack of professional knowledge and I expect the whole encounter to be degrading.

Has the system conspired to turn my life into a series unfortunate events? It’s almost, as if within psychiatric services, a depreciation index exists. Ah, I have this option: “If there is anything you would like to discuss before (coming to Woodfield Road) then please ring us,” yes, I may phone to ask, “How do you intend to improve the quality of my life?”

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